A Gambler's Tale
"Like everybody else, I didn't see how it would develop into a problem. I started to sell things in pawn shops to get money to gamble.”
Andree is a gambler. Though she wishes to go by her first name only for anonymity, she is willing to share her story and struggle with addiction.
Andree started off with no interest in gambling. With the exception of one time she went to Vegas with her friends, she had never gambled and had no interest in it. But a traumatic event changed everything.
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Patrick Gibson/Calgary Journal
"So I started playing slot machines as a way of escaping and not coping, and not long after I started playing I got hooked."
Hiding the Addiction
Unlike some other addictions, the damaging effects of gambling can be hidden. There are no physical marks left on a person's body that can be easily seen. Unless you had access to their bank statements, you would have no idea someone is suffering from problem gambling.
"I started to lie to family and friends about where I was. Telling people I was going to counselling and that I was volunteering and I was spending most of my days in the casino. I gambled alone, I never gambled with anyone. All while living at home and able to keep it under wraps. Nobody in my life knew."
"I ended up stealing money from my parents, and I lost $10,000 within three weeks. My life was out of control at that point."
Getting Help the First Time
"I ended up starting Gamblers Anonymous here in Edmonton. I couldn't get into treatment right away, so my first 60 days of recovery were 60 meetings in 60 days. By the Spring of 2003 I got into Eventa, which is a treatment center in Calgary for women only. They have a 28-day program that you often hear about where addicts go for 28 days, and then we are left to our own devices."
Even once someone gets help overcoming their addiction, that does not mean they are off the hook forever.
"On February 5th of 2007, I celebrated four years of sobriety with GA. So, I sponsored people in the program, I shared my story in high schools and treatment centers, I got married, and we bought a house. Then I started a job with an organization called the John Howard Society, working with victims of violence, and it was just too close to home."
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Patrick Gibson/Calgary Journal
Falling Back In
Convincing herself to find help, even with the resources out there, was a difficult thing to do.
"Even though I knew what I was doing was wrong, I didn't know how to ask for help, and this time it was worse. I knew GA existed, I knew we (PGRN) existed, I knew I could get support with no judgement, but the addict that is now in control is so powerful, they convince you that everybody will be so disappointed in you, and you'll somehow be able to get out of this hole before someone finds out."
Andree did eventually get the help she needed. She is married, with a house and two kids, but still constantly has to keep a watch on her habits.
Damaging Relationships
The addiction was not just damaging to her relationship with her parents, however.
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Patrick Gibson/Calgary Journal
Acceptability of Gambling
Andree believes that gambling is more acceptable in Alberta than some other vices. This acceptability can help create addiction.
"We've come a long way in understanding that drugs and alcohol are a disease, they are a mental illness. Gambling is still on that cusp.
"We would never have fundraisers based on alcohol or drugs. It would never enter anyone's realm. But with gambling, bingo started in church, senior centers drive individuals to casinos. You walk into a casino, and you will see more seniors playing slot machines than any other age group, and it's not because they have an abundance of cash, but because it's so much more socially acceptable."
"I ended up getting caught, obviously. The bank caught up to my family, and when my mom found out what I had done, she spent the next couple days in bed crying. Even though I devastated them, I had no desire to quit. I was still convinced somehow that if I had a little more access to money, I would be able to bail myself out and make everyone else less mad. I was still convinced it was about the money."
Despite how hard it can be, Andree believes that someone should look for help in any way they can.
"Recovery doesn't come right away, it doesn't come easy. It's hard work. It's necessary. It's just not an option."
"I once had somebody say to me 'recovery and meetings and all of that sound like a life sentence.' And it's not that it's a life sentence but it's a life program."